Why am I doing this?
Because I’d like a simpler life.
I feel tired. I feel fat. I feel unhealthy.
I look at society and the way many people conduct their lives and I just have one question – Why are we doing it like this?
What’s the point to it all? To all this ‘busyness’, all this activity and productivity. All this ‘overwork’.
I’ve been very into personal development and I once heard from one of the charismatic leaders that if we’re not growing we’re dying. But that isn’t how nature works. The comes a point where maturity is reached when growth stops. It’s not stagnant, it’s just enough.
And that’s one of the major problems I see in our society, when is enough enough?
So many of us subscribe to the belief that ‘more is better’. Yet as we take more and more from our earth we’ve gone past the point of sustainability and now we’re living on credit. It can’t go on.
I too have believed that more is better. I bought that idea. When I heard “you can have it all and you can have it now” I thought ‘YES’. Until I discovered that more stuff didn’t make me happy. In fact chasing my desires became like an addiction and caused a lot of harm, both to me and those around me.
The truth is that I value ‘experiences’ and freedom over comfort. But recently my life hasn’t been reflecting that. Living out of alignment with my own values feels painful.
Too much ‘comfort’ makes me slow, lazy, bored and boring. It makes me unhealthy. I yearn for adventure.
The time here in my beautiful annexe has allowed me to heal, and I’ll be eternally grateful for that. Now it’s time for the next chapter.
I suspect that I’ll dip into luxury on occasion again in the future. I love quality things. Sometimes I love 5* luxury… But I’m done with over-consumption.
There’s too much I want to do and I need money to make that happen. Significant money. Living very frugally will allow me to save that money, for my future plans. Living in a van will allow me to do the things I want to do.
But it’s about more than just the money I’ll save. I want to live simply. I desperately desire to have more time, more freedom. And I’m willing to have less stuff to do it.
I’d like not to HAVE to work all the time, like I’m on a never ending treadmill.
I’d like to exit the rat race. Not when I’m 65, but now. For now I’ll still have to do some work. But if I’m savvy I can get to a place where I don’t have to pretty fast. A place of financial independence.
I’d like to spend more time with my family. I’d like to do more with my dog Rosie. I’d like to write again. To spend time reading and to spend more time in nature.
The van can allow all of that.
I’d like to eat more simply too. To get back my health and vitality.
I love the idea of being free. Of picking up when I want to and traveling somewhere. Of waking up to see a a different sunrise.
I know it won’t be glamorous. I’ve lived in a motorhome before. Sometimes it’s going to be tough. And thats exactly what I need now. A new challenge. To stretch my limits. To see what I can do and learn by myself. To be independent.
To push out of the sickening, flabby confines of my comfort zone which are making me too ‘ordinary’. Zombified. Unconscious. A mindless consumer, deep in my own neurosis with no real control over my addictions.
On a treadmill of working without questioning ‘why am I doing this?’ Working just to survive.
The scary thing is I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way.
I have a suspicion that this isn’t how we’re supposed to live. That this doesn’t constitute a truly ‘rich’ life. That’s the theory I intend to test out.
That’s my experiment.
That’s why I’m going to live in the campervan conversion I just bought.